Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Five Things That No-one Tells You About When Becoming A First Time Parent

Archie turned one the other week, can you believe it? Honestly I don't know where the last year has gone and my little boy is growing up way too quickly. Like how is he one already? For those of you who are still waiting for an Archie Update post, I promise there is another one on its way to you soon. However today I wanted to sit down and chat about parenting and something that you can expect when becoming a mum or dad for the first time. Yes, there are all the obvious ones that you get told from everyone, like you'll get no sleep and your life will never be the same again etc. I know you'll be nodding your heads and sighing at these kinds of things to expect when your expecting as you hear them about a million times and there things that we already know, I mean common having and living with a baby is never going to be easy or straight forward right? But as I have been a mum for just over a year now, I've been thinking and reflecting on the last year and I thought I would share a little insight to the things I've learned or picked up that nobody warned or told me about before having Archie. This is a light hearted post, so please enjoy.

A Mothers Love; You'll get told a lot about just how much you'll love your baby, I know I did. But  no one can warn you or really describe to you just how powerful and strong the love you will have for your baby.  Before Archie came along I thought I knew what love was; We all love our family members, friends and even pets, but nothing comes even close to the love that I feel for Archie its on a completely different level and I can't put into words just how I feel about him. He fills my heart up so much that I think it could burst and even thinking about how much I love him could bring me to tears. Archie fills up my every thought, when I'm with him I'm thinking about him and when I'm not with him I miss him so much. The worst is when he's sleeping and I can't wait for the morning to start another day with him; There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. I always remember my mum telling me that she loves me, and of course I would reply with 'I love you too', to which she would say, 'No, I really love you' and she would get all soppy on me and try to explain to me that her love for me was different and she would always love me than I would love her. Now I get it, theres just something incredibly powerful and special about a mothers love, fellow mummies out there will be nodding their heads at this, but if you're expecting a baby then be warned your about to feel something pretty spectacular.

The Baby Club; The baby club is a thing, its like a secret hidden group that parents don't talk about, but when you have your little one thats it your in the baby club and its pretty awesome. Your baby club membership is always activated when out and about and theres some level of understanding between parents (even if your strangers) when you pop out with your baby or children. If Archie is playing up or is crying out in public, other parents really don't judge they just give you that look of sympathy and understanding and know exactly what you're going through. I was food shopping today and there was a fellow mum of two who was having a hard time and she looked at me, sighed and said its been a tough morning. In that small exchange between the two of us which was a smile and understanding, gives us parents a little extra strength that we need to keep on going and not loose our heads. Parenting is hard and I'm learning that as Archie gets older it only gets harder. Every parent out there goes though similar struggles and its great that this is acknowledged between parents out and about, which is why I call this the baby club!

You are a Superhuman; Whenever I hear the word superhuman I think about these people that can do incredible things like lift cars above their heads or something. Little did I know that becoming a mum is a superhuman quality in itself. Theres always a million and one things that I have to do and juggle with everyday and combine that with little or no sleep is such a mission. No, I don't always get everything done that I set out to do, but my days are always jammed packed and looking after a little one is no easy task. When I settle down in bed at the end of a hard day, I feel pretty accomplished and proud of all the things that I've managed to get done. I may not be able to lift extreme things or run up walls or possess any of those kinds of superhuman qualities, but I am a mum and I wear my superhuman cape with pride.

You'll forget the pain of Labour...; I got told this a lot 'as soon as your baby is here you'll forget all about the pain of labour' I can honestly say to you that this is a lie; A year later on down the road and I can still remember in detail of what a contraction felt like and how much pain and discomfort I was in. Yes, as soon as I held Archie the pain stopped, but I certainly haven't forgotten it. I know this' probably down to the individual, but my labour is a good memory that I often revisit and I'm always talking about it with my mum. I can laugh about the pain I went though now, but it's still very fresh.

A New Confident You; Whilst I was pregnant one of my biggest fears was wondering how on earth would I know how to be a mum and also I had a fear of being judged by everyone about how well I was doing or if I was doing things right. It's amazing how quickly and naturally things came to me and since Archie was born I've very rarely second guessed myself if I was doing things right. I was always worried about what people would think if my baby would cry in public, which is just crazy because it's a fear that was instantly erased from my mind as soon as I had Archie. Being a mum has given me a new found confidence and I feel a lot more confident when I'm out with Archie than what I did before when I was on my own. I have no idea why, maybe because I'm looking after someone I love so much and someone who depends on me for everything that Archies needs and love take over everything else and make me not care about my own insecurities. I think every new mum will be surprised at their new found confidence, its something I wasn't expecting at all.

Over the last year I've learned so much, not just about being a mum but about myself too. If theres one bit of advice that I could give, it would be to treasure every single day and every moment, even the ones that are just exhausting and have you in tears. Theres no greater feeling than being a mum and if theres one thing that everyone says that is true, is that they really do grow up so fast. I always try and reflect on my day and take every moment in, I don't want to forget anything or miss anything. Time with Archie is precious and I'm treasuring every minute of it.

What have you learned about parenting? Let me know in the comments



  1. I don't have any children (yet!) but I really enjoyed reading this and it's definitely got me broody haha. Also Archie is the cutest little boy, well done you! x

    Always, Alice

  2. Helpful as always. Every post you write produce a massive value to your readers that is the only reason it is so popular and has great authority.

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  3. The intnse amount of love you are able to feel. Lik you said, it does not compare to anything else I have ever experienced. When I got pregnant with ou second child I was afraid I would not live him as much as I loved my firstborn daughter, simply because the love I felt for her was so big. But you can love them both equally and strongly without having your hear burst.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

  4. It's crazy how much I can relate to this post, it's almost like I wrote it - apart from the forgetting the pain of labour part being a lie, I forgot how painful labour was a week postpartum! It's mental, I just can't remember what it was like, or being pregnant! They grow so fast don't they? Reuben's 6 months today and I can't believe it. Archie is so gorgeous, such a credit to you x

    Gemma Louise

  5. So true at the baby club part, I never noticed until you just mentioned but it does happen! Nearly and a year and a half down the road and I'm still terrified of being pregnant again because I'm so scared of labour. I can still picture, feel everything! :(
    Great post lovely xxx


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  7. Hi my dear,
    great words! It is so true, you can be as prepared as you want, but lot's of things you'll just find out once the baby is here. I never thought that I could feel that lonely especially during the night time - this was a crazy experience. Another thing that concerned me a lot was that I really wanted to feed my baby properly with breast milk but it was really hard for me. I'm still very thankful for my mother and my husband who supported me to use formula in addition. Our choice was to use , since we are also feeding this formula I feel way better and not that stressed out anymore. One great thing was also that my husband and I could go on a date while my mom was watching our love and I didn't have to worry at all.
    Being a mum is crazy and beautiful and overwhelming at the same time but I really love it!
    Yours Clara


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